The Guzzling Puzzler dangerously mixes jigsaws with alcohol. Do not try this at home.

Friday, 10 March 2017

The 2nd Puzzle And A Guzzle: The Snowman's Gift.

THE STORY OF THE SNOWMAN'S GIFT JIGSAW PUZZLE











In association with











This festive puzzle appeared in early January, post-festive season. The scant supply of alcohol that had been purchased for Christmas had long been drained. So new supplies had to be purloined for the task. What with it being January, the month in which alcohol consumption is most frowned upon, it was thought prudent to purchase smaller cans. Six of them.

There were serious doubts that such a fiendish looking snow-filled, sky-filled 1000 piecer could be completed before the onset of festivities for the following Christmas, especially as the puzzle sessions were to be fuelled by these little tinny beauties of Heineken, the beer that used to refresh the places other beers cannot reach. Until saying such unsubstantiated statements was outlawed.

Any attempts to crack the reindeers early doors were soon abandoned. It was neigh on impossible to tell Blitzen from Shitzen and the other fellas from Rudolph. However, Santa and his sleigh provided a good start point with enough different wrapping paper colours to piece er... the pieces together before frustration set in and the pieces were returned to their box in disgust.

The line of nosey animals in the foreground came together slowly and piecemeal. So many spindly legs in snow to contend with. Who could tell a horse's leg from a foxes from a doe's? Not I , especially with Heineken inside.

The strip of orange sky proved easier than anticipated, completion greeted by the cracking open can five of six.

The last beast to be completed turned out to be the goose, its white neck so snow white it looked like snow.

The Huzzah with Heineken! Completion came in good time, well afore the following year's festivities were on the horizon.

MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT: The discovery of a missing piece in the dishwasher. Yes, the dishwasher.

As the jigsaw was being formed on the kitchen island, it was oft used as a makeshift surface for crockery and cutlery. The only feasible explanation is that the piece became affixed to the moist underside of a mug of tea and transported to said dishwasher, where it received a thorough clean, totally wiping the image from the surface. A minor flesh wound betwixt one of Santa's reindeer's legs that you can hardly see. As you can see. Ahem...






JIGSAW ENJOYABILITY: 4 
The picture seemed slightly blurred. Or was that the effects of the alcohol?

JIGSAW TRICKINESS: 7 
A lot of snow and sky to contend with.

JIGSAW MONEY SHOTS:













Friday, 3 March 2017

The 1st Puzzle And A Guzzle: Birds In The Snow

In association with a six-pack of Carling Black Label.


Four nights were available to complete this 1000-piecer . I had hired a caravan in the New Forest for an autumnal Monday to Friday half term holiday.

Doubts prevailed as to whether the puzzle would be completed before the keys to the mobile home would have to be returned to the owner. Especially when this little lot appeared out of the fridge:



Would I be repacking the puzzle incomplete and defeated come Friday morn?

After the first two of those nights, that looked likely. I was only lightly inebriated as I sat down each time, but the alcohol, combined with my exposure to the fresh air of southern England weighed heavy and progress was slow. A careless sleeve repeatedly swept stray pieces onto the linoleum floor. Tea was brewed in a foreign pot and imbibed in the hope it would battle the lager and enliven mind and spirit, and concentrate the grey matter on the task at hand.

But the snow. So much snow. And beaks and feathers and...

But the eye was drawn to the pockets of red, and pieces sporting this colour were split from the rest of the pack. Edges too found themselves congregating on the periphery of the caravan table.

The birdseed holder was pieced together first.

Night three was where big progress was made, and although it ended with me still at least 200 shy of completion, a finish in four days looked possible.

And so it proved.

As ever, fewer options remaining led to a swift jigsaw denouement, celebrated with the last of a six pack of Carling cans, a smooth, unassuming drink in a cool can that reminds me of a Pierre Cardin shirt I owned in the late 1980s.

The puzzle was left in situ overnight before being swept back into its box the following morn, and swiftly packed away along with the rest of our holiday paraphernalia.

Time to RSVP the RSPB. These wild birds had been tamed.

MOST MEMORABLE MOMENT: The realisation on Day 3 that there was a bird in the picture that I hadn't seen on Days 1 and 2.

Ratings (out of 10)

ENJOYABILITY: 6

TRICKINESS: 5

THE MONEY SHOT: